1. |
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I've got a fierce competition for the flying squirrel
He's not the only brother out there with wingspan
I've got a fierce competition for the flying squirrel
'Cause I can do what all those mothers with wings can
I know it isn't natural
No, I would never make that call
You can always travel far and wide
but you can't always travel tall
I've got a fierce competition for the flying squirrel
And he thinks that he's so goddamned clever
I've got fierce competition for the flying squirrel
But I've got the greatest idea ever
I'll make the seagulls do a double take
When they see me within their reach
As the girls in their bikinis go
Busalooey on the beach:
"Look at that guy over there
He needs new shoes but he's in the air
He's next to that bird, and he's got brown hair
And I want his number
Look at that fella in the sky
He seems like an otherwise normal guy
Down here he's no bigger than a french fry
But I want his number"
I've got a fierce competition for the flying squirrel
And he's jealous of the goggles I'm wearing
I've got fierce competition for the flying squirrel
And I can see the people stopping and staring
I'll make the pigeons do a double take
When they see me flying through downtown
Past the bankers drooling on their business suits
As I'm hovering near a cloud:
"Look at that guy with his outstretched limbs
Our financial fortunes are looking grim
But we can make our millions off of him
That's why I want his number
We'll buy his patent for a buck or two
Then market overseas with our investment group
We'll lap it up in our swimming pools
That's why I want his number"
I've got a fierce competition for the flying squirrel
Yeah he thinks that he's so goddamned clever
I've got fierce competition for the flying squirrel
But you know that nothing lasts forever
Cause sometimes there's a thunderstorm
And it's not always a windy day
Like the railroad baron or the automat
Some things will fade away
But I can drop my competition with the flying squirrel
Biologically, it's only right
I can drop my competition with the flying squirrel
If I could spend some time with you tonight
You might think I'm a sucker
Getting grounded on the street
I know I won't be flying but
You still lift me off my feet
I've got fierce competition for the flying squirrel
He's not the only brother out there with wingspan
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2. |
Ballad of Mimblegast
02:10
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Mimblegast is bigger than a life-sized statue of a man who's six feet tall
Mimblegast, if you give him a chance, you might not regret it at all
Mimblegast is a fire on a winter's day
He doesn't want trouble, it just happens that way
Mimblegast, his heart is the size of a whale that's bigger than the other whales
He knows the difference 'tween wrong and right, his conscience is a compass that never fails
Mimblegast is kinda crafty for a castaway
He doesn't want trouble, it just happens that way
Nobody pins down Mimblegast
Cause he buries secrets from the past
And you never know if he's gonna last
You gotta keep it going, gotta keep it going, gotta keep it going (2x)
Mimblegast is bigger than a life-sized statue of man who made the grade
Mimblegast, he plays a song to make you dance along the promenade
Mimblegast has a questionable resume
He doesn't want trouble, it just happens that way
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3. |
Eye On You
02:57
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I don't need a stunning vista
I don't need a lovely view
I don't need a picture scene from a flowery summer dream
Cause I've got my eye on you
I don't need a space between H and J
I don't need the extra room
You make it easy so I don't need a socket in my skull
Cause I've got my eye on you
I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta
Remember to hold tight
If I'm feeling jittery when you're within my sight
I hafta, I hafta, I hafta, I hafta
Remember to keep sane
By gluing up my eyelids and put a bag over my face
I feel like a bud in the springtime
I feel like a mad kangaroo
I feel like a stick of butter melting in the microwave
When I've got my eye on...
I've got my eye on...
When I've got my eye on you
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4. |
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Well you would never know what a good boy he is
No you would never think he's what you're looking for
All of his male friends say that he is worth your time
But your instinct says that he should be ignored
But if you're wondering whether he'd make a good lover
(la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ooh)
The opinions of a female will get you covered
You need a girl-on-girl recommendation
You can trust a girl and her explanation
Cause a girl-on-girl recommendation
Will tell you if he's all right.
It doesn't seem like you would want a boy like him
Cause he wears ugly shoes and he has saggy eyes
He drives a pick-up truck, that can't bode well for him
But if you ask the girls, they'll tell you otherwise
They'll say he's dynamite, and that he's charming, too
He'll get you flowers and he'll make your birthday cake
He'll take you for a ride, a place you've never been
You'll want to drive all night and never hit the brakes
But if you're wondering whether he'd make a good lover
(la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ooh)
The opinions of a female will get you covered
You need a girl-on-girl recommendation
You can trust a girl and her explanation
Cause a girl-on-girl recommendation
Will tell you if he's all right.
Girls are never wrong no no no no no
Girls are always right, yeah, yeah
Girls will always know know know know know know
If he'll be all right.
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5. |
The Foremost Kisser
02:44
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I never met the queen of Spain
I never got to see her crown
But I'm acquainted with the foremost kisser
Of this here town
Can't cross Atlantis off my list
I never went before it drowned
But I'm acquainted with the foremost kisser
Of this here town
I'm always looking for adventure
In a most unlikely place
But I never waste my time
I'll be dreaming about tomorrow
I'll never be an adjective
But I'll always be a noun
A noun who's acquainted with the foremost kisser
Of this here town
Suppose you blast me through the ozone
On a trip to outer space
Can we let the records show
It's not my preferred excursion
I never saw the Beatles play
I've only heard recorded sounds
But I'm acquainted with the foremost kisser
Of this here town
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6. |
Marine Layer
03:51
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I'm gonna tell the world about my marine layer
I see no reason why I'd keep it to myself
I'll tell them where to go
If they don't already know
Anchors away, and here's to our health
This song goes out to the ones who think I'm not a team player
It's foggy and pristine and waiting just for you
It's a twenty-minute drive
And you'll see when you arrive
It was worth all the hullabaloo
I would never change a thing about my marine layer
And I think we'd all agree it's fine the way it is, oh yeah
Now, if I can get your vote, I'm gonna be a green mayor
So wear the proper shoes and bring a hoodie too
It's not exactly rain
You'll never be the same
I'm gonna tell the world about my marine layer
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7. |
Sweet Potato Will Do
03:21
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I called my lover by a term he found endearing
And he told me I should call him that again
Overzealous me tried thinking of new nicknames
But he said, "Stop--we're good for now."
He said he'd hate if
I got creative
But I went ahead and tried it anyhow
I wanna give him a handle that'll really cling
A nom de plume or a moniker that's fit for a king
But every time I try, he tells me, "Here's the thing,"
He says, "Sweet Potato will do."
I wanna call him Buster and I wanna call him Babe
Address him with affection before the whole entire neighb
But so says the man I give my kisses to
He says, "Sweet Potato will do."
I try to call him my cookiecake or my gumdrop melonball
Or my powdered sugar ice cream candy bar
But my man prefers the savory with the sweet
I guess it wasn't in the stars (no, it wasn't)
I give him a back rub and another glass of wine
I give him a smile and a piece of my mind
But like a little goober, he prefers to be a tuber
He says, "Sweet Potato will do."
Some say he's being stubborn, and others, resolute
But I think that it goes deeper you see
He doesn't want confusion enveloping the air
'Cause he's only Sweet Potato to me (that's the story)
So after he walks inside and just before he hangs his hat
I'd like to call him Muffin Boy, or something dumb like that
But there's no need to doubt it, I won't make a fuss about it
'Cause he's a Sweet Potato through and through
Yeah, I think Sweet Potato -- will have to do
do-do-do...
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8. |
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America, land of hopes and dreams
Also Krispy Kremes
My home, America
It goes from Florida to Alaska
In the middle there's Nebraska
And there are forty-seven other states as well
A patriotic pride of lions
Bonded by a bold alliance
If you cross us then we're gonna give you hell
America, big and tall and wide
Roller coaster rides
My home, America
Bald eagles soar across the skyline
And it's written in our byline
You can get married in Utah even if you're gay
Freedom sounds off through the brass holes
Where you're free to be an asshole
But we'd much prefer you didn't act that way
(In) America, we played baseball as
We invented jazz
My home, America
We put the first man on the moon
We put the second man on the moon
We put twelve men total on the moon (so far)
No other countries can ignore us
Those and ones that came before us
May never get the grit we've got today
These stars and stripes fly high and free
America, we're here to stay
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9. |
We Shit in the Woods
03:39
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We were camping one night in the neighbor's backyard
Testing how we would do, but it wasn't that hard
We sat up in a tent, but didn't know what to do
So we went back inside to watch a movie or two
Well the picture was good, but the sound wasn't on
So if it's okay with you, we might be happier gone
We might be happier working out a life on our own
Without you
You
We shit in the woods
We're furry and brown
We like to exist
When you're not around
Well we never believed that we were meant for this world
So we dropped out of town and we gave it a whirl
You always complained we can't take care of ourselves
But look at us now, we're unlike anyone else
We catch the salmon upstream from the river nearby
Stuff them into a crust and bake them into a pie
If I say so myself, this will never get old
And we love it, love it
We shit in the woods
We're furry and brown
We like to exist
When you're not around
But sometimes we're scared
Because we're surprised
But don't be surprised
When you see us bears, bears, bears
There's a lot to be learned from all the work that we've done
It took a lot of our time but it was plenty of fun
If we do this again and I think that we will
There'll be less time to be cute and more salmon to kill
Now the secret I feel to being free thinking bears
Is ignoring your comforts and forgetting your cares
It takes a boatload of moxie and a thimble of spunk
To be grizzly, grizzly
We shit in the woods
We're furry and brown
We like to exist
When you're not around
But sometimes we're scared
Because we're surprised
But don't be surprised
When you see us bears, bears, bears
We shit in the woods
We shit in the woods
We shit in the woods
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10. |
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I got on the wrong plane
I'm in Fairbanks, Alaska
It's negative fifty
And I don't have my jacket
But my jacket won't do me any good here
Cause it's negative fifty
I'm in Fairbanks, Alaska
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11. |
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My situation had been dire
Since the day that I got fired
I've been sleeping in my '88 sedan
So I called on two good buddies
Who were feeling just as nutty
And told them all the details of my plan
"The paintings hung in the museum
We'll pretend we came to see 'em
We'll stuff them in a sack and then we'll move
And then we'll put out feelers
To some crooked, wealthy dealers
We'll be stealing paintings from the Louvre
"Now I don't want to harass
Those security guards in Paris
By putting tranquilizers in their croissants
I'm not doing it for pleasure
I'm not doing it for leisure
I'm doing it so I can finally have a chance
We'll take the things we've stolen
Hop a boat and keep on rollin'
To somewhere in Canada like Toronto or the 'Couv
Maybe we'll make some money
Off some Manets or some Monets
We'll be stealing paintings from the Louvre"
We'll I knew that Mona Lisa
Would wanna get a piece of
All the action so I let her come along
To share the lovely oeuvre
Of the city of Vancouver
Where the friendly folk think I've done nothing wrong
Before my life was bumpy
And my clothes were looking frumpy
But I think I've gotten back into the groove
I've learned the payoff of my hard work
After looting precious artwork
Because I stole some paintings from the Louvre
Because I stole some paintings from the Louvre
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The Bicycats Los Angeles, California
Zachary Bernstein is The Bicycats. A folk-rock troubadour with charm, melody, and humor.
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